Underperforming?

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Am I underperforming spiritually?

This is a question which regularly crops up in my mind and one I asked myself after listening to some Christian friends in the back of my car discuss their study of the Old Testament. They talked about 1Kings and I probably couldn't have joined the conversation right there.

Am I underperforming spiritually?

It's a question you may have asked yourself before.

Sometimes when we hear others speak of the scriptures with an obvious certain level of knowledge, we begin to question ourselves.

Am I underperforming spiritually?

We often tie this question and the accompanying feelings to comparisons with others. But is the acquiring of spiritual knowledge really a competition between people? Do we compete with others to see who has the highest level of scripture mastery?

The answer should always be 'No.' Simply because we cannot force spiritual things the same way we can force children to memorise academic information. Regurgitating scriptures is one thing, but real spiritual wisdom comes from application of spiritual principles outlined therein. It also comes from careful slow study, meaningful lengthy consideration, and diligent speedy recording of thoughts, feelings and impressions garnered from a study of the Word.

There are people of faith everywhere who are at different levels of spiritual knowledge. We are all progressing at our own pace. Our common Father in heaven has no regard for how intelligent I am compared to you. We were never placed here to learn of God as some sort of contest to prove ourselves against others.

What matters is that we are proving ourselves to God. What matters is that we are a little better today than we were yesterday. What matters is that today we bite our tongue and hold our peace when yesterday we emitted a vocal act of impatience. What matters is that we are humble enough to listen and learn from the Spirit when it acts upon us through our study, prayer, pondering or listening to others.

Our relationship with God is intensely personal. Nobody else's spirituality, knowledge or intelligence, however great and mighty, can actually save us. We are all working for our own salvation. Only our very own prayer, study, meditation, faith, knowledge and works can ultimately prepare us for spiritual safety here and in the life to come.

So, am I underperforming spiritually?

When we view this question as a personal, relationship-with-God goal, and not a competitive fear, we will be able to set aside inadequate worries, learn freely at our own pace, and make plans for healthy self-improvement.