eX-Mormons

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Ex-Mormons can be generous, kind, loving, family-oriented, opinionated, idiotic, stubborn, vengeful.

Mormons can be generous, kind, loving, family-oriented, opinionated, idiotic, stubborn, vengeful.

Hope that clears it up.

This is a post stemming from my very first posting here on open-minded-mormon titled Building bridges in interesting times. It's worth reading that post as a little background to this one.

Ex-Mormons, if treated in the right way, can open some valid and insightful discussions and questions regarding the church, its history, and policies. And it's not even left to ex-Mormons to do deep digging. Church members, most notably Kate Kelly, founder of the Ordain Women movement, was excommunicated from the church for preaching her viewpoints which the church perceived to be in opposition to its own stances. Sometimes it takes people like Kate Kelly to cause us to think deeper, to cause changes for the better in the church. Ex-Mormons have quite different perspectives on the church from the typical comfortable member.

While it may be impossible to agree with each other's opinions, we can at least be agreeable in our understanding of and empathy for one another.

Ex-Mormons usually make a firm point of how happy they are after leaving the church, which is probably correct. But it doesn't mean that the happiness I feel in the church is in any way less than theirs.

I don't have to renounce my faith to be happy.

I don't have to leave the church in order to see other perspectives.

I don't have to forfeit my spiritual convictions in order to be open-minded.

I don't have to abandon my beliefs in order to acknowledge and consider mistakes of past or current church leaders.

I don't have to fight against the church collectively just because one person offended me.

From my observation, a lot of ex-Mormons are not necessarily bad people, they have just been perhaps treated harshly or unfairly by certain people in the church; they have been offended by one person's lack of empathy or unkind words or bad example; they have been overburdened with callings and responsibilities; they feel cheated by the church when they learn of proposed mistakes or contradictions in early church leaders or on points of doctrine or practise; they have differing personal opinions to church policy which leaves them marginalized and criticized by the majority.

I think we can show empathy, defend the faith, and do so with increased kindness so that we can build bridges instead of erect walls.

Building Bridges in Interesting Times

We are living in very interesting and troubled times. The growth and 'coming out' of the gay community has produced a lot of noise and posed many questions for individuals and organisations, including the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here we have a religious organisation with revered divine laws which finds itself increasingly struggling against new State laws regarding homosexuality and the now legal union of man and man, woman and woman.

These are interesting times.

Not that the Church has not handled troubles before. Succession in the Presidency, plural marriages and the exact identity of who is eligible to receive the priesthood are just a few examples of how the Church has struggled within itself and with the State regarding important matters.

New resolutions, stances, and laws have always caused a stir and are impossible to please everyone. I believe a healthy discussion of such things is important, and I was fortunate enough recently to be involved in such a discussion on a facebook post. 

This post was written by a friend with a number of ex-Mormons participating in the thread. It went on for a few days as I attempted to have enough empathy to at least leave a good impression with those who have been undutifully treated by the Church, yet also demonstrate a defence of the faith to give credit where it is due.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a couple of private messages from those who took part in the discussion expressing their appreciation for my efforts and wishing me all the best, despite possessing unceremoniously opposing views on the Church to me. I replied and reached out to two others as well:

It's refreshing and encouraging to see what can be accomplished in terms of building bridges with those of other faiths, and indeed, those who once belonged to our faith. Some differences of opinion may well be irreconcilable but at least we can discuss and be respectful and understanding in these interesting times.