Overcoming the World - (Part 3)

A couple of months ago, I felt quite isolated from the gospel of Jesus Christ through my own neglect of studying it. I recorded a video message in this blog post, detailing how I felt swamped down by the world.

Around a month later, I followed up with another video message where I spoke of my efforts to start anew and gain more balance in my life by including more heavily, spiritual things.

Today, seemingly out of nowhere, I had the desire to listen to some General Conference talks using my earphones while vacuuming the house. Sounds a bit weird, right? Well, it does to me. I have never done that before!

For Mormons, General Conference represents the mind of the Lord as revealed through the medium of the Spirit via apostles and other general authorities of the church. It is an event everyone is eager to be a part of.

And I have spent years and years listening to talks given in such meetings, all of them very good and uplifting, but none seeming to be personal to me, as we are told can happen in some instances.

After all, I am just an average Mormon.

I have no spectacular problems in the church or in my life.

I have no pressing and immediate concerns, no desperation to find an answer to something that is bothering the hell out of me.

And then while I was vacuuming the house, I listened to Elder Neil L. Andersen talk about "Overcoming the World." Considering my little journey of the last two months in trying to balance the things of the world with more spiritual things, this arrived in my ears and heart as a personal message to me. He may as well have began, "Dear Mr. Horne..." I forgot that he was speaking to an entire hall full of people, that it had been broadcast around the world on the internet to church meetinghouses everywhere.

For the 15 minutes I vacuumed and listened, Elder Andersen was talking to me. Finally, a speech that meant something to me, that called out to my struggle, that echoed my circumstance. And right on time!

This speech has become a little treasure to me, an added help in my continuing journey of striving to get a better balance into my life, in straining to want to hunger and thirst after the teachings of the Saviour Jesus Christ, of making that a more prominent part of my life again.

Starting Anew

This post is a response to a post last month titled Swamped down by the world where I revealed my struggles with getting away from worldly things as it interfered with my spirituality.

Below is my video message addressing those issues and how I have tried to overcome them for the last month:

Swamped down by the world; lifted by the word

I have had a lot of worldly things on my mind for a long time. While it can be exciting, important and oftentimes necessary, being too absorbed in these things has rather swamped me down a little. I have had a recent desire for a return to balance and a larger space for spirituality.

The bulk of this post is contained in this video I prepared where I talk candidly about this topic. Have a look and see if there is anything you can relate to:

I'll be posting a follow-up post soon to let you know how my dip in the word of God went.

What is opinion but influenced thought?

In a recent facebook exchange of verbal jousting, opinions were shared without concentration about spiritual matters. These opinions were about as opposite as black and white. At the end of the day, we may agree to disagree, knowing that each of us are different characters with varying modes of thought and capacity for understanding.

Opinion can be a beautiful thing, but at the same time, highly dangerous.

I feel we sometimes get a little too deeply entrenched in the easy way out of saying: "well, that's just my opinion," or "we all have different opinions and they are all equally important." These little phrases sound pleasant and friendly, but what are they really saying?

They are saying that we can come to different conclusions based on the exact same body of evidence. 

In a sporting example, I'm a die-hard fan of Roger Federer. His statistics and body of work compared to other players leave me with no doubt that he is the greatest player of all time. Novak Djokovic supporters will ardently disagree with me, however, based on the exact same statistics.

It is a similar situation with the Mormon church. Faithful Mormons testify that the church is true while others, referring to the same facts and history, proclaim it a fraud.

What is opinion but influenced thought?

Does opinion matter? Is it even relevant? What is opinion but influenced thought?

While thinking deeply about these things, in the bathroom, as I often do, I began the usual method of talking to myself in my head. I find that the greatest discussions, the most analytical thoughts I have ever had have occurred in the chambers of my own mind. 

And so I began thinking. What is opinion but influenced thought?

But what do I really think about God? About life? About the prospect of eternity? 

I soon realised that all of my thoughts on these topics were highly, no, completely influenced by religion. Everything I think about these things come from what I have learned from religion.

What if I could make religion disappear? What if I could put it to one side and see what I thought, independent of all other influencing factors. If I could just float in empty thoughts in a kind of meditative state where there was nothing but me. 

What would I believe? What would I think?

It is a potentially powerful, empowering, or yet destructive scenario to imagine. It deals with who we are. Where did we come from? What is the origin of the human soul?

It revolves around the idea of an absolute truth. One source of truth that is consistent through all space and time. Whether it is the natural order of the universe, an unimaginable intelligence, or a god-like figure of supreme knowledge, we are continually looking upwards for something. We are truth-seekers. Telling the truth is prized higher than gold. Some of us seek to hide and obscure truth; some seek to uncover and expose truth. We all have different opinions on what the truth entails.

The problem, I have come to consider, is when we forcefully wage our opinion as the ultimate truth, unwilling to examine an alternative trail of thought. I have unfortunately been guilty of this at times and I am straining with great effort to open up my own horizons to new perspectives. 

I am trying to figure out what I actually believe independent of all other influences, including the religious influence that has so strongly permeated my life.

It seems to be the quest of a lifetime.

Underperforming?

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Am I underperforming spiritually?

This is a question which regularly crops up in my mind and one I asked myself after listening to some Christian friends in the back of my car discuss their study of the Old Testament. They talked about 1Kings and I probably couldn't have joined the conversation right there.

Am I underperforming spiritually?

It's a question you may have asked yourself before.

Sometimes when we hear others speak of the scriptures with an obvious certain level of knowledge, we begin to question ourselves.

Am I underperforming spiritually?

We often tie this question and the accompanying feelings to comparisons with others. But is the acquiring of spiritual knowledge really a competition between people? Do we compete with others to see who has the highest level of scripture mastery?

The answer should always be 'No.' Simply because we cannot force spiritual things the same way we can force children to memorise academic information. Regurgitating scriptures is one thing, but real spiritual wisdom comes from application of spiritual principles outlined therein. It also comes from careful slow study, meaningful lengthy consideration, and diligent speedy recording of thoughts, feelings and impressions garnered from a study of the Word.

There are people of faith everywhere who are at different levels of spiritual knowledge. We are all progressing at our own pace. Our common Father in heaven has no regard for how intelligent I am compared to you. We were never placed here to learn of God as some sort of contest to prove ourselves against others.

What matters is that we are proving ourselves to God. What matters is that we are a little better today than we were yesterday. What matters is that today we bite our tongue and hold our peace when yesterday we emitted a vocal act of impatience. What matters is that we are humble enough to listen and learn from the Spirit when it acts upon us through our study, prayer, pondering or listening to others.

Our relationship with God is intensely personal. Nobody else's spirituality, knowledge or intelligence, however great and mighty, can actually save us. We are all working for our own salvation. Only our very own prayer, study, meditation, faith, knowledge and works can ultimately prepare us for spiritual safety here and in the life to come.

So, am I underperforming spiritually?

When we view this question as a personal, relationship-with-God goal, and not a competitive fear, we will be able to set aside inadequate worries, learn freely at our own pace, and make plans for healthy self-improvement.

Testimony

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

In many a discussion with non-member friends, we have come to a crossroads over "testimony" and Mormons' oft-repeated declaration of "I know" when sharing about spiritual feelings. How can one bear testimony of Joseph Smith and his role as an authorised prophet when we haven't even physically seen him, nor possess any sort of personal physical evidence that such a person actually existed? How can we say "I know God lives" when it's near enough physically impossible to see God? And they are fair points which I took on board and pondered. I came to wonder what exactly is my testimony.

A testimony is described using words such as 'witness', 'evidence' and 'proof', which physically speaking makes our familiar declarations of God, Jesus and Joseph Smith somewhat inaccurate.

What I think we really mean by sharing our testimony is 1. making a statement of what we believe to be true, and 2. declaring what we know to be true after obtaining such information by personal spiritual means, for example through the gift of the Holy Ghost or by the spirit of Christ, and not necessarily by physical means.

And we are all able to receive that type of conviction according to our desires.

Elder Dallin H. Oaks explained it succinctly:

"When we know spiritual truths by spiritual means, we can be just as sure of that knowledge as scholars and scientists are of the different kinds of knowledge they have acquired by different methods." (General Conference, April 2008)

As Mormons, we term this set of beliefs as "testimony" - I prefer to label it as "spiritual convictions."

In the Book of Mormon, a man named Alma used a tree as an analogy in testing the word of God to gain spiritual convictions. At one point he said:

"And now, behold, is your knowledge perfect? Yea, your knowledge is perfect in that thing, and your faith is dormant; and this because you know, for ye know that the word hath swelled your souls, and ye also know that it hath sprouted up, that your understanding doth begin to be enlightened, and your mind doth begin to expand."

(Alma 32:34)

In bearing testimony, or sharing spiritual convictions, of the truths of the restoration, it's not that we saw Joseph Smith receive the visitation of God and Christ, not that we saw the golden plates upon which lay the ancient writings that he translated with a seer stone, nor that we saw the angel Moroni visit Joseph Smith on numerous occasions, delivering and later collecting those plates, but that through studying and considering these things in the scriptures and accounts provided, we have noticed the change for better in ourselves. We have become a better person and developed Christlike attributes. We know for certain that the word has swelled our souls. 

Therefore, a Mormon testimony, as it is called, becomes more of a witness of ourselves - of the positive change which has taken place in ourselves because of the words of God. It's like saying,

"Look what the restoration has done for me. Look what the doctrine delivered from Christ to Joseph Smith and Joseph Smith to me has done for me. It has made me better, enlightened my mind, expanded my thoughts and increased my spiritual convictions. Therefore 'I know' that the Book of Mormon, the source of this increased spirituality, is true and that Joseph Smith served as a prophet of God."

We bear testimony or share spiritual convictions of the truth of the restoration and the divinity and works of Jesus, and we do so because of the visible, tangible impact they have had on us.

Open-minded Mormon

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Why did I choose to name my blog 'Open-minded Mormon?'

There is a perception that Mormons are stuck in their own bubble, blindly follow church orders, and are ignorant of all else. And there are those who fit that description.

However, I don't like generalising things and I don't like being generalised.

In addition to submitting to the requirements of belonging to this organisation, I have a brain and a conscience and can think things through for myself.

Open-minded Mormon represents my personal thoughts about church doctrine, policy and stances. It's a place for me to state gospel teachings and/or history and share my own perspectives on it.

I think it's an unfortunate perception people have of Mormons that we are a people who don't entertain anything outside of Mormonism as valid (the Mormon doctrine of exact obedience is often mistakenly taken as a war cry in rejection of all else). That we accept the church's stance on issues without thinking for ourselves. Or that we never feel any sense of disagreement with leaders on certain issues.

For a religion that accepts wild and wonderful events as part of its established history as well as previous periods of polygamy and racism (which are thankfully over), we should be amongst the most open-minded people in the world.

As I've matured, I have determined that there is a far greater value and a much richer experience in opening my mind outside the circle of Mormonism, getting away from Mormon cliches, and reaching a point where pure faith once was - 

me and God.

And that is not something that should seem alien to us. We are repeatedly urged not to trust in the arm of flesh (ie. church leaders or others great or small) but to personally consider and pray about things in order to receive a spiritual confirmation of the truth and of the way in which we should lead our personal and family lives.

As a result, I spend more time thinking. Wondering. Contemplating. I carefully question things I had automatically accepted before. I take responsibility for my own spiritual development.

It is just me and God.

I love being in that place where it's just me and God. Where there is no distraction of other people. Where there is no doctrine but what thoughts and impressions occupy the human mind when contemplating Space, Divinity, Eternity, and God.

Just me and God.

That's where deeper perspectives are formed. It has happened for me in prayer. When staring out the window into the skies. When sitting in a quiet part of the house getting lost in silent thoughts. In scribbling down ideas that seem to be whispered into my conscious mind.

Me and God.

Enlightening Exchanges

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Facebook is one of the main ways I keep in touch with people of the same faith

The main way we communicate with other church members while living in the wilderness is through social media. Facebook, in particular, is a fertile ground for replacing what we miss in typical Sunday School lessons in a regular ward or branch.

I involve myself in enlightening exchanges with both members and non-members alike. Such exchanges sometimes delve into deep discussion and doctrine which enables me to both share my own unique language of understanding of gospel topics, and hear and take on board ideas, opinions and new perspectives from others.

These exchanges on facebook really represent  an important spiritual component of my life whilst tucked away in the wilderness. I'm extremely grateful for those who have taken similar amounts of time as I to share engaging and insightful comments on facebook which help mould my views and increase my perspectives.

How has social media enhanced your spiritual life?