"What, if anything, could the Mormon Church do right now to make it more favourable in your sight, or in the sight of others who view it unfavourably?" - A Survey

*The 'Mormon Church', 'the church' and 'organisation' are used in this article in reference to The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.

With a lot of issues that have sprung up in recent times regarding the Church's policy or stance on topics such as the church essays, seer stones, sexual orientation, females and the priesthood etc. I have compiled a set of responses to the question outlined in the title of this post.

The question was open to interpretation regarding whether one thinks the church has a necessary obligation to make certain changes to accommodate others, whether it would even be possible for the church to do just that, or whether it is people who need to change and align themselves with the church. As such, the question was answered in a number of different ways.

We cannot simply ignore the way this organisation has made people linked to it, feel. It is my urge that we have to seek for every opportunity to build bridges between active, less-active and ex-members. That the qualities of compassion, empathy and love manifested by Jesus Christ be the standard on both sides.

Building bridges may include listening to others instead of responding with a retort, demonstrating sincere empathy. Showing the Saviour's love for each and every soul may take precedence over attempting to prove that you are right in a doctrinal/historical/policy back and forth.

And now to the survey itself.

I do not personally agree with every comment made in this report. The comments of other individuals do not necessarily reflect my position on issues. However, I feel it absolutely necessary to publish everyone's comments exactly as they were given, with zero alterations. The comments contained herein were given from real people whom I contacted privately and separately through facebook messenger.

This survey is neither an attempt to slander the church or renounce my faith in it, nor an effort to narcissistically extol myself or the church. I am merely genuinely interested and intrigued by the people who have contributed their opinions, their method of thinking, and their vivid ideas and feelings.

The following messages contain candid and honest opinions both in favour of, and in opposition to the church. Please decide for yourself whether you wish to proceed in reading this survey after this point.

"WHAT, IF ANYTHING, COULD THE MORMON CHURCH DO RIGHT NOW TO MAKE IT MORE FAVOURABLE IN YOUR SIGHT, OR IN THE SIGHT OF OTHERS WHO VIEW IT UNFAVOURABLY?"

(This question was originally worded as "What, if anything, could the Mormon church do right now to appease you and make it more favourable in your sight?")

I will kick things off with Greg Rattey, who I became acquainted with in a conversation on facebook:

I met Henry Lions in the same facebook thread, and these are his comments:

Next up are some comments from a Graham:

Jolyon Folkett shared his views as such:

Gareth Horne offered up his response to the question as follows:

Sarah Fuller indulged me with her comments:

Hilary Presbury shared her comments here:

These are Eric Spaans' comments:

Next are Mitch Hilburn's comments:

Joanna Horne shared her thoughts about this question:

Finally, we turn to the remarks of Nephi Hatcher:

While the entries here in this survey are raw and candid, I have found that we don't have to share the same opinions in order to be agreeable. We don't have to agree on common beliefs to be respectful. And we don't have to see eye-to-eye regarding our concept of truth in order to attempt an empathetic response. It is these such traits or qualities - agreeable, respectful, empathetic - which provide a foundation to build bridges. Their exact opposites create chasms.

We cannot attempt to demonstrate these attributes without first listening to and understanding the different viewpoints and feelings of both members and ex-members. Whichever side we are on, we have all been affected by the church in one way or another.

Of course, I always welcome sincere comments but I really hope that such comments don't isolate individuals who contributed, castigate them, ridicule their opinions, or cast them in a negative light. We are all humans and we all have strong feelings. Let us treat each other with kindness as we all try to be civil and respect each other's right to worship how we may and our right to an opinion and a voice.

eX-Mormons

This is one post in an A-Z series of 26 where I am writing about living as a Mormon in the wilderness of Kuantan

Ex-Mormons can be generous, kind, loving, family-oriented, opinionated, idiotic, stubborn, vengeful.

Mormons can be generous, kind, loving, family-oriented, opinionated, idiotic, stubborn, vengeful.

Hope that clears it up.

This is a post stemming from my very first posting here on open-minded-mormon titled Building bridges in interesting times. It's worth reading that post as a little background to this one.

Ex-Mormons, if treated in the right way, can open some valid and insightful discussions and questions regarding the church, its history, and policies. And it's not even left to ex-Mormons to do deep digging. Church members, most notably Kate Kelly, founder of the Ordain Women movement, was excommunicated from the church for preaching her viewpoints which the church perceived to be in opposition to its own stances. Sometimes it takes people like Kate Kelly to cause us to think deeper, to cause changes for the better in the church. Ex-Mormons have quite different perspectives on the church from the typical comfortable member.

While it may be impossible to agree with each other's opinions, we can at least be agreeable in our understanding of and empathy for one another.

Ex-Mormons usually make a firm point of how happy they are after leaving the church, which is probably correct. But it doesn't mean that the happiness I feel in the church is in any way less than theirs.

I don't have to renounce my faith to be happy.

I don't have to leave the church in order to see other perspectives.

I don't have to forfeit my spiritual convictions in order to be open-minded.

I don't have to abandon my beliefs in order to acknowledge and consider mistakes of past or current church leaders.

I don't have to fight against the church collectively just because one person offended me.

From my observation, a lot of ex-Mormons are not necessarily bad people, they have just been perhaps treated harshly or unfairly by certain people in the church; they have been offended by one person's lack of empathy or unkind words or bad example; they have been overburdened with callings and responsibilities; they feel cheated by the church when they learn of proposed mistakes or contradictions in early church leaders or on points of doctrine or practise; they have differing personal opinions to church policy which leaves them marginalized and criticized by the majority.

I think we can show empathy, defend the faith, and do so with increased kindness so that we can build bridges instead of erect walls.

Building Bridges in Interesting Times

We are living in very interesting and troubled times. The growth and 'coming out' of the gay community has produced a lot of noise and posed many questions for individuals and organisations, including the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Here we have a religious organisation with revered divine laws which finds itself increasingly struggling against new State laws regarding homosexuality and the now legal union of man and man, woman and woman.

These are interesting times.

Not that the Church has not handled troubles before. Succession in the Presidency, plural marriages and the exact identity of who is eligible to receive the priesthood are just a few examples of how the Church has struggled within itself and with the State regarding important matters.

New resolutions, stances, and laws have always caused a stir and are impossible to please everyone. I believe a healthy discussion of such things is important, and I was fortunate enough recently to be involved in such a discussion on a facebook post. 

This post was written by a friend with a number of ex-Mormons participating in the thread. It went on for a few days as I attempted to have enough empathy to at least leave a good impression with those who have been undutifully treated by the Church, yet also demonstrate a defence of the faith to give credit where it is due.

I was pleasantly surprised to receive a couple of private messages from those who took part in the discussion expressing their appreciation for my efforts and wishing me all the best, despite possessing unceremoniously opposing views on the Church to me. I replied and reached out to two others as well:

It's refreshing and encouraging to see what can be accomplished in terms of building bridges with those of other faiths, and indeed, those who once belonged to our faith. Some differences of opinion may well be irreconcilable but at least we can discuss and be respectful and understanding in these interesting times.